Steady My Heart
by Mrs. 11th
Summary: Looking back on her life, Dorcas Meadowes found that she remembered the most important moments, rather than whole days or events. Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon.
1. Marlene

**thanks for clicking on my story, despite the vague summary. i'll try to think of a better one as this story goes on.**

**this story is, so far, rated T for language, but may escalate to M as the story goes on. Marlene and other characters (but mostly Marlene) cuss quite a bit. and yes, this story is femslash, as the pairing is Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon. however, this story will mostly focus around Dorcas, rather than focusing around her relationship with Marlene. but, make no mistake, this story is largely Dorcas/Marlene, it's just not the main point. we don't know much about the members of the original Order of the Phoenix, and they fascinate me, so i had an idea about them and ran with it. this story will take place across about ten years time, from them at age 11, in 1971, to the end of the war when they're 21, in 1981. please enjoy :)**

* * *

Dorcas Meadowes was scared out of her mind to go to Hogwarts. She was scared to be in a new environment, with new people– with _strangers_, away from her father, away from her bedroom, her books, everything she was familiar with. Her heart pounded in her chest and her face was flushed red throughout the whole morning _and_ her tearful goodbye with her father.

Marcus had tapped his daughter's nose and promised that Hogwarts would be the best time of her life. He _promised, _Dorcas reminded herself. Then again, he promised that Mum wouldn't die either, and look what happened– Dorcas pushed those thoughts away, as Da had taught her to do with troublesome thoughts, and stuck her head and shoulders out the window to wave goodbye to her da.

When he and King's Cross were out of sight, Dorcas retreated back into the window and ran a hand through her wind-blown hair to get the knots out. She felt the familiar pressure in her throat before she felt the hot tears in her eyes, and they were down her cheeks before she could stop them. A sob escaped.

Dorcas pressed her palms over her eyes. "Stop it," she quietly scolded herself.

"Stop what?" a voice asked. Dorcas jumped, startled. A tall girl with platinum blonde hair stared at her from the doorway, head tilted slightly right. Dorcas hadn't heard the door open, but no matter.

Dorcas sniffed and wiped her eyes quickly.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked. She sat down opposite Dorcas, at the edge of the seat, as if to be ready to jump up at any moment. "It's alright if you aren't alright. I cried leaving my parents too. And I cried when all my brothers left. Crying's alright."

She talked a lot, this girl, Dorcas noticed.

The girl stuck out a pale hand and flashed a bright smile. "I'm Marlene McKinnon. First year. So are you alright?"

Dorcas shook Marlene's hand. "I'm alright. Just sad. And I'm Dorcas Meadowes. First year as well." Dorcas sniffed again.

A boy with a mop of brown curls appeared in the still-open door. "Did you make her cry, McKinnon?"

Dorcas looked away and blushed.

"Potter, can you leave me alone for once in our lives?" Marlene asked angrily. "Go away!"

Dorcas laughed quietly at the face Potter made at Marlene, before he shut the door and left.

"His dad knows my dad," Marlene explained, "so we know each other, unfortunately. That's James Potter, first year. I think we'd do well to stay away from him."

Dorcas nodded her acknowledgment. Marlene moved to sit beside Dorcas, cupped Dorcas's face in her hands, and used the pads of her thumbs to wipe the remaining tears from Dorcas's cheeks and eyes. She smiled when she was done.

"There. All better."

Dorcas smiled, a little shyly.

"Now, Cas," Marlene moved back to the seat across from Dorcas, "let's talk Houses, then we need to find my friend Amelia. She's very nice, and I think you'd like her. Anyway, Houses…"

* * *

**thanks for reading; i'd love a review with your thoughts, even though nothing very thoughtworthy has happened yet. it gets better, i promise. ;)**

**i've got this whole story written already, and i really want everyone to read it, so i'll try to update quickly.**

**and as for facecasts, there are links to each of the characters facecasts (if i could find a good one) on my profile. :)**


	2. Homesick

**updating early because this chapter is quite short. (sorry, that's just how it came out.)**

* * *

Marlene and Dorcas were sorted into Gryffindor together and stuffed their faces with every type of food they could reach at the feast. Then, to add to their luck, they were given the same room assignment. Also in their room were Lily Evans, Mary Macdonald, and Emmeline Vance. Marlene's friend Amelia Bones was sorted into Hufflepuff, but Amelia promised to catch up with Dorcas in whatever classes they had together.

Everyone chose beds, unpacked, set rules (snorers must have a silencing charm put around their bed by one of the older students, no using other people's items without permission, etc.), and went to bed at a fairly reasonable time. Except Dorcas, who couldn't sleep.

She hadn't brought her music box, because she didn't want to annoy her roommates, and there was no sound of wind rustling leaves outside, only other girls turning about in their beds, and the vague sound of Mary snoring lightly. Hopeless for a moment, and missing her home desperately, Dorcas began to cry into her pillow.

A few minutes later, she felt something weighing down the left side of her bed. Dorcas turned onto her back. Marlene sat by her hip, staring at Dorcas through half-open eyes.

"You alright?" Marlene whispered hoarsely. Dorcas shook her head. Marlene quickly slid into bed beside Dorcas, and began to hum lightly. Dorcas couldn't quite make out the song, but it sounded like The Rolling Stones. She fell asleep quickly after that, and woke up the next morning with Marlene back in her own bed.

Dorcas thanked her quietly at breakfast.

"Everybody gets homesick," Marlene replied with a shrug. "I'm happy to help get rid of that feeling, any time."

Dorcas smiled.

* * *

**i hope you enjoyed; please tell me if you did in a review :)**

**something i forgot to mention in the first chapter: the title of this story, "Steady My Heart," comes from the Maeve Kelly song "All Else (Steady My Heart)." the link to that amazing song (and Maeve's bandcamp site) can be found on my profile.**


	3. Remus

**warning: descriptions of blood/a nosebleed in the beginning of this chapter. see the end notes of this chapter for a summary if you're not comfortable reading descriptions of blood.**

* * *

Potter eyes widened at the result of his prank. Dorcas's nose began gushing blood. She let out a cry and slapped a hand over her nose.

"Oh god, I didn't –" he stuttered. "You weren't supposed to– It wasn't meant to –"

"Run before I punch your eyes back into your skull!" Marlene screamed at him. Potter, Black, and Pettigrew turned and sprinted away, but Lupin stayed. He took off his tie and balled it up, then put a hand on the back of Dorcas's head.

"Tilt your head forward," Lupin guided her head forward, then let his tie catch the falling blood. "You don't want blood going back into your sinuses."

"We need to get her to the hospital wing," said Marlene. Lupin nodded. They led Dorcas to the hospital wing, where the doctor fixed her nose and gave her something to replenish her blood, then let her sleep. Marlene sat at Dorcas's side; Lupin stood at the foot of the bed, hands in his pockets, watching Dorcas.

"Why did you help her?" Marlene asked.

"This wasn't meant for her," Lupin explained. "James and Sirius have been warring with a few Slytherins, pranking each other back and forth since the beginning of school. They were supposed to be walking around the corner when you and she did, but they must have turned around at some point."

"Why are you friends with them? They're awful."

Lupin shrugged. "They're not bad when they're not playing tricks on people. And they need someone to keep them out of serious trouble."

Marlene was silent for a few moments. "Why are you still here?"

"To apologize in James and Sirius's name. To tell you that I will make them apologize to her... And to make sure that she's okay." He nodded towards Dorcas. "She's really quite nice."

"Yes, I know," replied Marlene.

Lupin laughed quietly.

Marlene stood and held out a hand. "Marlene McKinnon."

"I know," Lupin shook her hand. "Remus Lupin."

"Heeeyy, look, she's near him and not biting his head off," Dorcas mumbled quietly, her eyes heavy-lidded.

"Sleeping beauty awakens," Marlene smiled and tapped Dorcas's feet. "Hi, Cas."

"Glad you're okay," said Lupin.

"Me too, honestly," Dorcas replied.

Marlene and Dorcas laughed with their new friend Remus.

* * *

**for those of you uncomfortable with blood, all you need to know about this chapter is that Marlene and Dorcas become friends with Remus Lupin after Dorcas accidentally becomes the subject of one of James, Sirius, and Peter's pranks.**

**please leave a review, as they make me very happy :)**


	4. Plans

Throughout the summer before second year, then second year itself, Marcus Meadowes grew ill. So ill, in fact, that he was eventually taken to St. Mungo's, where he spent Christmas. Two days before the start of winter break, one of the healers sent a letter, dictated by Marcus, that Dorcas would not be able to return home for Christmas. If she were to find a friend or teacher willing to bring her to St. Mungo's, however, she could visit her father for a few hours.

Dorcas received this letter at breakfast, and the St. Mungo's owl nearly dropped it into her tea. After reading the letter, she pushed her cereal away, no longer hungry, and laid her head down on the table. Marlene instinctively rubbed Dorcas's back. Lily and Emmeline exchanged confused looks and looked on with concern.

"Cas, what's wrong?" asked Marlene.

"Da's getting worse," Dorcas mumbled.

Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline all sighed. Amelia sat down opposite Marlene and Dorcas, between Lily and Emmeline.

"What's wrong?" Amelia whispered.

"Her dad," Marlene replied with a sad shake of her head.

"Oh," Amelia sighed.

"I have to stay here over Christmas, and I can't see Da unless I can get a teacher to take me."

"Come stay with me," said Marlene, like it was obvious.

Dorcas sat up quickly, then rubbed the back of her neck when it snapped with her sudden movement.

"Stay with you?" Dorcas asked. "Really, Marley?"

"'Course, Cas. Mum always makes enough food to last until New Years, and my brothers would love another soul to torture. Plus," she lightly poked Dorcas's side, "I've been telling them about you for over a year, and they only met you briefly over the summer. I'll write Mum today and tell her I'm bringing a friend. And my parents can bring you to see your dad."

Dorcas threw her arms around Marlene's neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Marley, oh my goodness, thank you."

"It's no problem, Cas." When Dorcas let go of Marlene, Marlene stood and ran a hand through her wavy hair. "I'm going to write them now, actually. I'll see you later."

Dorcas sighed happily, gazing after Marlene as she left, before returning her eyes to her own breakfast and Amelia. Amelia raised her eyebrows at Dorcas.

Dorcas took a bite of her cereal, then met Amelia's eyes. "What?" she asked.

Amelia smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

* * *

**another short chapter, but the next one is longer, and it's christmas! maybe i should have started posting this when i could have posted the christmas chapter at christmas, instead of in august, but oh well *shrugs***


	5. Christmas, pt I

On Christmas morning, Dorcas woke up with a strange weight on the right half of her body and something tickling her face. Upon opening her eyes and blinking the sleep away, Dorcas found that the weight was Marlene and the tickling feeling on her face came from Marlene's hair. Dorcas pushed Marlene's hair away, then slowly moved Marlene back onto her own side of the bed.

After a few moments, Marlene stirred.

"Happy Christmas," Dorcas whispered. Marlene's eyes snapped open. She crawled over Dorcas, and her feet hit the floor with a thump.

Dorcas took Marlene's outstretched hand and let Marlene pull her upright. Marlene started to bounce on her heels, repeating "Christmas" under her breath.

Marlene quickly pulled on knee socks and tucked her pajama bottoms into them, then threw her robe on. Dorcas did the same, but slower, in order to annoy Marlene just a little.

As Dorcas adjusted her socks around to the perfect level of scrunchiness, Marlene sighed and tapped her foot. When she finished, Dorcas looked up and smiled. Marlene pulled Dorcas up again, then rushed her down the three flights of stairs to the bottom floor. They ran into the living room, hand in hand, to admire the tree and its string lights.

After a few moments, they sighed happily, then meandered into the kitchen. Dorcas put two pieces of bread into the toaster; Marlene started the tea kettle. The toast popped up, the kettle boiled, and the girls sat down at the breakfast table a minute later. Marlene slid a cup of tea over to Dorcas, and Dorcas put a plate with a piece of buttered toast in front of Marlene. They smiled at each other.

"Quite a routine you two have," Mr. McKinnon came up behind Marlene and kissed her head.

"Dad!" Marlene grinned. "Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas, dear." Mr. McKinnon kissed the top of Dorcas's head as well. She smiled up at him.

Mr. McKinnon made two cups of tea. He handed one to Mrs. McKinnon when she joined the trio in the kitchen.

"Are your brothers all asleep?" Dorcas asked Marlene.

"For about the next minute," Marlene replied with a mouthful of toast.

Mrs. McKinnon walked out of the kitchen and stood at the bottom of the stairs. "Christmas!" she bellowed. A few moments later, loud pounding signified all five McKinnon boys rushing out of their rooms and down the stairs. The pounding grew closer, until they came crashing into the kitchen, all fighting for breakfast. Dorcas and Marlene squeezed out of the kitchen and sat in the living room, in front of the tree.

"When do we open presents?" Dorcas inquired.

"After or during breakfast," replied Marlene. "Depends on how early we're all up. Usually after breakfast."

Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon joined the girls in the living room.

"Dorcas, dear," Mrs. McKinnon said quietly, "about your father." Dorcas stilled and looked up at her friend's mother. "I visited St. Mungo's yesterday and set up a visiting time with him and his healers. I figure we'll go after lunch? Is that alright with you?"

Dorcas nodded. She thanked Mrs. McKinnon.

"It's no problem, dear." Mrs. McKinnon ran a hand over Dorcas's dark hair. "No problem at all."

Dorcas smiled up at Mrs. McKinnon.

* * *

Quarter of an hour later, they were opening their presents. The older boys, John, Philip, and Michael, received a few things that would help them with their various jobs, and the younger, still at Hogwarts, Richard and Derek, got quills, ink pots, and knit hats. Marlene received two books, both by muggle writers that Dorcas's father enjoyed, and a knit sweater.

Dorcas was perfectly happy watching the McKinnon children open their presents, until Mrs. McKinnon pulled two presents out from under the tree for Dorcas. One was _The Door Into Summer_ by Robert Heinlein, and the other was a red knit hat with an orange poof ball that came out from the top. Gryffindor colours. Dorcas pulled the hat onto her head immediately. It fit perfectly, and Dorcas beamed.

"I didn't know how much you'd grown since I last saw you," said Mrs. McKinnon, "so it might not fit exactly."

"It's perfect, Mrs. McKinnon," Dorcas smiled at her. "It's really really wonderful. Thank you."

"Happy Christmas, dear."

"Happy Christmas, Mrs. McKinnon."

* * *

Dorcas stuffed herself full of every food in sight at lunch, then laid on the couch with Marlene afterwards, the both of them complaining about how full they were.

After about ten minutes of that, Mr. McKinnon came in, bundled in a coat, scarf, and hat, with his boots on. Dorcas and Marlene sat up.

"Time to go?" asked Dorcas.

Mr. McKinnon nodded.

"Just give me a few minutes," Dorcas replied as she ran up the stairs to Marlene's room. Marlene followed.

As Dorcas pulled her coat and boots on, Marlene did the same.

"You're coming?" Dorcas asked.

"'Course," Marlene replied. "Cas, where you go, I go."

* * *

St. Mungo's was quiet. The footsteps of Dorcas, Marlene, and Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon echoed in the halls as they walked to Marcus Meadowes's room. When they arrived, the door was shut. Dorcas stopped with her hand on the doorknob. She exhaled. Mr. McKinnon put a hand on her shoulder.

"We can come in with you if you want, Dorcas," he said.

Dorcas shook her head. She breathed in deeply, then exhaled a shaky breath. "I'm … I'll be fine. It's alright."

"Okay," Mr. McKinnon patted Dorcas's shoulder. "We will wait out here for you. Take as long as you need."

Dorcas nodded, then turned the doorknob, and walked into the room. She shut the door behind her, which woke her father up from his slumber. Marcus was confused for a moment, before he saw Dorcas and smiled.

"Hello Dor," he said, his voice rasping and weary. "How are you? How's your Christmas?"

Dorcas shook her coat off, walked over to his bedside, and sat on the bed, beside his hip. "I'm good, Da. Today has been very nice. The McKinnons have been wonderful. So welcoming."

Marcus took his daughter's hands in his. "I'm glad." Marcus looked as if he wanted to say more, but he dissolved into a coughing fit just after opening his mouth to speak. Dorcas poured a glass of water for him. She helped him drink it, which stopped his coughing.

Marcus sat up slightly and reached into the drawer of the bedside table. He pulled out a small box, wrapped in Christmas paper, and handed it to Dorcas.

"Happy Christmas, Dor. I'm sorry we couldn't spend it together."

Dorcas began to rip the paper off. "It's okay, Da. We'll spend next Christmas together."

Marcus smiled sadly.

Dorcas gasped when she saw what was inside the box. "Da," she sighed. "Da, this is your wedding ring. And mum's wedding ring. _And _her engagement ring. Da, this is amazing." She pulled the chain containing the rings out of the box. It was a shiny, silver chain. The rings shined as well: her parents' silver wedding bands and her mother's engagement ring, silver with one small ruby.

"Turn around," Marcus said. "I can fasten it for you."

Dorcas slipped off the bed, handed her father the necklace, gathered her hair up, and turned. With shaking hands, Marcus slowly fastened the necklace. Dorcas let her hair fall and resumed her position on Marcus's hospital bed. She played with the rings for a moment, before tucking them under her shirt. The metals were cold against her chest.

"Da," Dorcas sighed. "You're worse off than you'd like me to think … aren't you?"

Marcus cough twice and nodded. "But the healers say that I'm getting better, Dor."

"Are you, Da?" Dorcas tilted her head slightly right, not believing him, but choosing not to voice her opinion.

"I am," Marcus coughed again. His eyes drooped. "I'm sorry, Dor, but I seem to be falling asleep."

Dorcas slid down from the bed and pulled her coat back on. Marcus was falling asleep quickly. Dorcas kissed her father's cheek.

"Sleep well. Happy Christmas. I love you, Da."

"Hm. Love you." Marcus mumbled unintelligibly for a few more seconds, before snoring lightly. Dorcas smoothed his receding hair back, kissed his cheek once more, and exited. Once she was in the hall, she fell right into Marlene's arms and sobbed into her shoulder.

* * *

**:(((( poor dorcas, my poor baby. i hate seeing her in pain and _i'm _the one who wrote this!**

**hope you enjoyed your christmas chapter in august, plus the longer chapter. i did promise y'all one, didn't i?****  
**


	6. Da

**pls read my author's note at the end because i have some things to say about my updating in the future.**

* * *

On the first of July in the summer between Dorcas's second and third years, Dorcas woke up to silence. She usually heard the radio in her father's room playing, as he turned it on as soon as he woke up. Dorcas knew that her father hated sleeping past nine in the morning, so she made her way into his room to wake him.

He was still sleeping, as she suspected, so Dorcas tapped his shoulders. Then again. And again. No response.

"Da," she said. "Da… Da?"

She pulled the blankets down and look at his torso. She didn't see movement. Dorcas felt for the pulse point on his neck and felt nothing.

"Daddy?" she asked. With no response, Dorcas let out a bloodcurdling scream.

* * *

Marcus Meadowes's funeral was held a week later. Dorcas stayed with Emmeline Vance and her mother, Caroline, as her father had made arrangements for Dorcas to live with the Vances after his death.

Dorcas stood at the very front while the casket containing her father was lowered into the ground in front of a headstone that now held her father's name as well as her mother's. Tears silently streaked down her cheeks. Her left hand played with the three rings on her necklace.

Marlene stood on Dorcas's right, holding Dorcas's right hand; Amelia was on Dorcas's left, with a hand on Dorcas's shoulder. Lily stood by Marlene, and Emmeline by Amelia. Their respective parents and families surrounded them.

After the casket was covered in dirt, various parents and siblings of her friends gave their condolences as they left, along with hugs, kisses, and promises that they would provide anything that Dorcas needed. Emmeline and Caroline Vance stayed behind when everyone left.

"Dorcas honey," Caroline drawled, her Alabama accent thickening with concern, "you ready to come home with us?"

Dorcas nodded.

"We'll move all of your things to our house in the next few weeks, m'kay?" Caroline threw one arm around Dorcas and the other around Emmeline. She apparated them into the living room of the Vance house.

Caroline turned to Emmeline. "Emmeline, honey, could you start the spaghetti for me? I'll be in in a second." Emmeline nodded and left. Caroline knelt so that she could look up at Dorcas. She put her hands on Dorcas's shoulders.

"Dorcas …" she sighed. "Oh, Dorcas. I am so sorry. Anything you need, I'm here. I'll be right here for you. Okay, honey?"

Dorcas nodded. Tears pricked at her eyes again. Harsh sobs wracked Dorcas's body; she sunk to the floor. Caroline sat beside her and wrapped her arms around Dorcas. After a few minutes, Dorcas's sobbing slowed to quiet tears, hiccups, and sniffling. Caroline stood and pulled Dorcas up with her.

"Honey, what d'you say to a lunch of spaghetti," Caroline proposed, "with some chocolate cake for desert? Sound good?"

"Yes, ma'am," Dorcas nodded and wiped her eyes. "That sounds lovely."

Caroline pressed a kiss to Dorcas's temple and led her into the kitchen.

* * *

**:( poor dorcas again! i hate seeing her sad.**

**about my updating, i won't be able to update as often, as i'm back in school now :((((( big sad face, yes. i'll update on the regular schedule if i'm able, but i'll probably just start updating once a week, on weekends. sorry! i wanted to update this quickly, but fricking school just won't let me do that.**


	7. Offer

**i worked my butt off in order to have free time to get this chapter up, so please enjoy :)**

* * *

Dorcas was the first of their group on the Hogwarts Express, as usual. She and Emmeline sat in their compartment in comfortable silence. Marlene and Lily tumbled in a few moments later, and Amelia arrived just as the train started moving. As soon as Amelia walked in, she made eye contact with Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline. They nodded once, then suddenly tackled Dorcas with hugs.

Dorcas flailed for a moment, before returning hugs wherever she could. "Hello, I missed you too."

The hugs tightened, and Dorcas wheezed. "Breathing is becoming a bit of a chore … I really can't breathe, girls." The hugs loosened slightly. "Really, what's going on?"

They all moved back from Dorcas and found seats: Emmeline directly across from Dorcas, Marlene and Lily on either side of Dorcas, and Amelia by Emmeline.

"How are you holding up, Cas?" asked Marlene.

"I'm fine," Dorcas replied. "Well, no I'm not, but I'm … I'm getting better."

"We didn't hear from you," Lily said, "after the … funeral, so we were all a little worried."

"Mum took us to Wales," Emmeline informed them, "to a little cottage by the beach, and we just forgot to write."

Marlene opened her mouth to speak again, but Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black appeared in the doorway.

"Hello Meadowes," said Potter. He ran a hand through his curly hair and adjusted his glasses.

"Hello Meadowes," Black echoed.

"Hi Dorcas," Remus smiled.

Pettigrew simply nodded at her.

"Hello boys," Dorcas replied.

"What do you want?" asked Marlene. "Leave us alone."

"I heard about your dad," Potter said. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened."

The five girls were silent for a moment, before Dorcas spoke. "That's, erm… Thanks, Potter."

"And if you need anyone pranked or hexed this year, we're your people," Black added with a crooked smile. Remus elbowed him.

Dorcas smiled slightly. "Thanks, Black. Er… I'll be sure to come to you if I need that."

Black nodded with a smile and made his exit, with Pettigrew trailing behind him. Potter tipped an invisible hat to Dorcas and tossed a chocolate frog into her lap. She smiled at him, briefly. Remus stepped into the carriage to give Dorcas a hug and tousle her hair, then followed the other three boys.

"That was … surprising," Lily noted. "Potter and Black not being arrogant toe-rags for once."

"Yeah, usually they're complete prats," said Marlene.

Dorcas shrugged. "Maybe people can change." She ripped open the chocolate frog package, handed the card to Amelia, and bit off the frog's head.

"Potter?" Lily scoffed. "I highly doubt that."

The other girls exchanged looks.

* * *

**another kind of uneventful chapter, but the next one's not, i promise.**

** thanks for reading; please leave a review :)**


	8. Crush

**i wanted to update on sunday, i rly did, but i spent all day writing an essay on _the catcher in the rye_ which did not come easily. so here's a monday update.**

* * *

"A date?" Dorcas gaped. "Marley, you know that we're only in third year, right? There's plenty of time for dates when we're older."

Marlene adjusted her shirt and brushed the wrinkles from her jeans. "I _know,_ Cas. It's not like I expect anything to come of it, but he's quite cute." She shrugged. "He asked me to be his date for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, so I said yes. We'll probably just buy some sweets and walk around a bit."

Dorcas sighed. She didn't know why she was so upset about Marlene's "date," only that she was. Her next sigh was heavier, and Marlene heard it. She turned to look at Dorcas and continued to brush her hair.

"Tell you what," Marlene said, "if it's completely awful, I'll ditch him and come find you and the girls. And if you're having just the worst time without me, which I doubt you will, you can come find me and tag along with us, and Dearborn will just have to deal with it."

Dorcas nodded. Marlene turned back to the mirror, put her brush down, and used two clips to pull her hair back.

"Tell me about him?" Dorcas requested. "Dearborn."

"His name's Caradoc Dearborn. He's a fourth year Ravenclaw, supposed to be near the top of his class. He's always been nice to me when we've crossed paths, which hasn't been that often, but I've heard he's quite nice. He's tall and has very pretty blonde curls."

"Sounds nice," Dorcas replied. "Do you really fancy him?"

"Hmm… I don't know just yet, but I'll figure it out." Marlene smiled at her reflection and adjusted her shirt once more, then pulled a light sweater on. She held a hand out to pull Dorcas off of her bed. "Come on, Cas, let's go meet everyone."

They walked in silence, arms barely brushing every so often, until they met up with their classmates. Marlene stayed with her friends for the walk to Hogsmeade, then met up with Dearborn. He was cute, Dorcas had to admit, and looked like a nice person. He smiled shyly at Marlene and said something that made her laugh, then waved to Dorcas, Amelia, Lily, and Emmeline, who waved back. He and Marlene walked off soon after. Dorcas stared after them, unsure as to why her stomach felt like it was in knots. The other three girls noticed, and pulled Dorcas along to the sweets shop.

As Dorcas looked through the shelves of different types of sweets, Amelia came up behind Dorcas and threw her arms around Dorcas's shoulders. She perched her head on Dorcas's left shoulder.

"What's got you down, Cassie?" Amelia asked quietly. "Marls will be back soon enough, and Dearborn will treat her right in the meantime."

"I know that," Dorcas responded as she idly played with the three rings on her necklace. "I don't know. Maybe it's just that kind of day." Dorcas wiggled out of Amelia's grasp, grabbed two chocolate frogs, and headed for the check-out counter.

Amelia huffed quietly. "I'm going to get that girl to admit her love for Marlene bloody McKinnon if it's the last thing I do." She shook her head, grabbed as many licorice wands as she could fit in one hand, and followed Dorcas.

* * *

**if you want an idea of what dearborn looks like, i'm picturing loras tyrell from game of thrones.**

**thanks for reading; please leave a review :)**


	9. Realize

Marlene and Dearborn continued to go on "dates," which mostly included walking around Hogwarts talking about common interests, studying together, and going on Hogsmeade trips together. Dorcas continued to be saddened by this. She didn't start avoiding Marlene exactly, but she never actively sought Marlene out when there was another option. She spent more time with Amelia, Lily, and Emmeline. Marlene spent a lot of her time with Dearborn anyway, so she wasn't around as much as she previously had been.

Amelia, meanwhile, made it her personal mission to make Dorcas see that she fancied Marlene, and had taken to watching Dorcas like a hawk and pestering her about Marlene and Dearborn at every given opportunity.

On a rainy Saturday afternoon in March, while Amelia and Dorcas were doing homework in the Great Hall, Dorcas finally snapped.

She stood up suddenly, startling Amelia out of her chatter about Marlene and Dearborn. "I don't want to hear another bloody word about them! Just shut up, for goodness sake!" Dorcas roughly pushed her hair behind her ears and stalked out of the Great Hall.

Amelia quickly shoved everything of hers and Dorcas's into her own bag. She briefly let out a small smile, before remembering that, although she was close to getting Dorcas to admit her feelings, she had also caused Dorcas a bit of pain and annoyed her. Amelia left the Great Hall as quickly as she could with her bag weighing double what it normally did. She saw Dorcas turning a corner, and ran after her, calling out her name.

Dorcas spun around, her cheeks flushed, her eyes angry, and her cheeks covered in tears. "What?!" she screamed. She was breathing heavily, with such a force that her shoulders and head moved in tandem with her chest.

"I'm sorry," said Amelia. "I'm really sorry. I was trying to get a reaction out of you."

"Why?" Dorcas took a hair tie from her pocket and pulled her long hair into a messy ponytail. "Why were you trying to –?"

"I think the better question, Cas," Amelia interrupted, "is why did I get so strong a reaction simply by talking about Marlene and Dearborn?"

Amelia's question stopped Dorcas cold. She straightened her posture, and it was clear that she was trying to find an answer.

"Let's go somewhere else and talk," Amelia held a hand out to Dorcas, which the other girl took. Dorcas allowed Amelia to lead her to the library, and they settled in two chairs in a far corner that was rarely frequented by other students.

"Now, let's talk," Amelia began. "How do you feel about Marlene dating Dearborn? And answer honestly please, Cas."

Dorcas pulled her legs to her chest, wrapped one arm around her shins, and played with . "I don't know. Weird. I get a stomachache every time I see them together. Sometimes I'm sad, and I don't know why."

"Do _you_ fancy Dearborn?" Amelia knew this wasn't the answer, but she figured she'd edge Dorcas towards the answer, rather than push her in roughly.

"No," Dorcas shook her head. "He's alright, but I don't fancy him."

"Dorcas," Amelia said slowly, "do you fancy Marlene?"

"What?" Dorcas's legs dropped back to the floor. "No, of course not. No." Something seemed to dawn on her, and she wouldn't meet Amelia's eyes. "No, no, no … Oh, no. Oh, this just mucks everything up. Oh, no." Dorcas put her head in her hands.

"You fancy Marlene."

Dorcas nodded. Amelia smiled. Dorcas looked up at her, her eyes gleaming with fresh tears.

"Why are you smiling? I've gone and made a mess of things. This _ruins _everything, Amelia, _everything._" Dorcas sobbed quietly. She bit down on her right hand to quell her sobs.

Amelia smile dropped as she moved closed to Dorcas and began to rub the crying girl's back. "No, it doesn't. This doesn't mess anything up. Dearborn and Marlene won't be together forever. Then you'll have your chance!"

"No. No, Amelia, no, that's not how it works." Dorcas wiped her eyes with her palms and sniffed twice. "Marley's my best friend. If she finds out, I'll lose her forever. You can't like your friends that way, that's not how it works. _Especially _when we're both girls." She sat up and grasped Amelia's shoulders. Her eyes were wide and wild. "Amelia, you and Marley … and Lily and Emme, and even Remus… You're all I have. All I have left in the _whole_ world. I can't lose any of you. Not even one. I would die a little, Amelia, you've got to understand. Marley can never _ever _know about this. I can't lose her."

Amelia sighed sadly when she realized she wouldn't be able to change Dorcas's mind and nodded. "Okay. I won't tell."

"Promise. You have to promise me, Amelia."

"I promise," Amelia nodded again.

Dorcas began to cry again. This time, Amelia brought her into a tight hug and let Dorcas cry into her neck and shoulder.

"It'll be alright." Amelia stroked Dorcas's dark, wavy hair. "Everything will be alright. Shh, it's okay, Cassie, it's okay."

* * *

**leave a review please?**


	10. Ruined?

Summer closed in on Hogwarts, and by the last full day, most of the student body were going mad with summer holidays so close. Hogwarts students spent their last full day finishing up exams and assignments, cleaning their dorms, hanging out with the friends they wouldn't be able to see over the summer, etc. Dorcas spent her last full day in a back corner of the library with Amelia. Amelia was finishing up a very late assignment for Potions, and Dorcas was hiding from Marlene. Again.

"Dorcas, you need to spend the summer either learning to hide your feelings for Marlene or getting over them," Amelia told her, bluntly. "I'm sorry, but you're very different without her. And it isn't a good different, it's a sad different."

Dorcas sighed and nodded. "I know. I know. But how? She can't know that I fancy her."

"Fancy who?" Remus and Emmeline came out from behind a near shelf.

Dorcas blushed. "N-no one. What are you two doing back here?"

"Remus needed a book on animagi for a summer project," Emmeline explained, "and I know this library back to front."

"Sometimes I think you should've been a Ravenclaw, Emme," said Amelia.

"Fancy who?" Remus repeated. "You fancy someone?"

Dorcas shook her head. "It's no one."

"Obviously it's someone if you don't want them to know," Emmeline deduced. "And if you don't want the person to know, then it's either a friend or an enemy."

Dorcas's blush grew deeper and overtook her whole face. She looked away from Emmeline and Remus.

"Emme, stop," Amelia ordered.

"I'm going to guess it's a friend," Emmeline continued, "because you're too nice to have any enemies. Now, if we can narrow down your list of friends –"

"Emmeline Vance, stop it," Amelia raised her voice to get her point across.

Dorcas stood up and sprinted out of the library.

"Fantastic," Amelia spat, "now we have to go find her." She gathered her things and took off after Dorcas. Remus and Emmeline followed.

* * *

They found Dorcas by the lake, hurling rocks into the water with all of her might. Tears ran down her face. The trio ran over to her. Remus reached her first, then Amelia, then Emmeline.

"Cas, I'm sorry," Emmeline pleaded. "I'm really really sorry, I didn't mean –"

"It's Marlene, alright?!" Dorcas screamed as she spun to face them. "I fancy Marlene bloody McKinnon, and it _ruins everything!" _She let out a harsh scream, then sunk to the ground, sobbing angrily.

Remus rushed to Dorcas, sat behind her, and hugged her shoulders from behind, attempting to comfort her. Amelia sat in front of Dorcas and brushed Dorcas's hair out of her face. Emmeline sat beside Amelia and rubbed Dorcas's arms.

"Calm down, Dorcas," Remus told her. "You must calm down or you're going to have a panic attack."

"I've ruined _everything,_" Dorcas cried. "It doesn't matter that Marlene and Dearborn split up, because I can't fancy Marlene, and I've gone and ruined our friendship."

"No, you haven't," Remus assured her. "Everything's fine."

"Maybe you should spend the summer away from Marlene," Emmeline suggested. "I'll see if Mum can take us to the beach. Then, we'll come back in September, and maybe your feelings with have changed. Cas, everything's going to be alright."

Dorcas nodded. "Okay. Okay."

Remus pulled Dorcas up and slung an arm around her shoulder. The four of them began walking back to the school. "It's almost summer holidays, Dorcas," said Remus. "You're going to go home and sleep late and have a great time. Emmeline and her mum will take you to the beach, and you'll play in the ocean and walk on the sand and whatever else you do at the beach. Alright?"

Dorcas nodded.

"Everything's going to be alright. Nothing has to change."

Dorcas nodded.

* * *

**she keeps freaking out and I feel so bad for her, except that I'm the one who wrote this so I'm making her freak out! it's circular logic. hope you enjoyed! leave a review?**


	11. Perfectly

"So how was your summer?" Amelia asked Emmeline, now that Dorcas had fallen asleep (goodness knows how, with all the noise on the train), Marlene had left to track down the sweets trolley again, and Lily was off with Snape.

"Well, Mum took us to that cottage in Wales for a month and a half," Emmeline replied. "While we were there, I managed to corner Dorcas and talk to her about the, er… McKinnon Dilemma."

"And…" Amelia prompted.

"I think I might have her convinced that it wouldn't be the end of the world if she told Marlene how she feels."

"Good!" Amelia grinned, then shrunk back when Dorcas stirred. Dorcas didn't wake, so Amelia and Emmeline resumed their conversation.

"Now," Emmeline concluded, "the question is when to get Dorcas to tell Marlene, and how will Marlene react?"

"How will Marlene react to what?" Marlene asked as she slid the door open with a half eaten Pumpkin Pasty in one hand.

Amelia and Emmeline jumped, startled, but Amelia was quick to recover. "How will Marlene react to any awful pranks Potter and Black pull this year? "

"Ugh, Marlene will punch Black in the throat if he comes near her, that's what Marlene will do," Marlene replied. "We're about to begin our fourth year, and I still haven't punched him. I think I need a medal." Amelia and Emmeline sighed with relief as Marlene, not suspecting a thing, sat down beside Dorcas.

Marlene pulled a chocolate frog from the pocket of her jacket and carefully placed it in Dorcas's lap, so as not to wake her. She pushed a strand of Dorcas's hair behind her ear and smiled fondly.

Amelia and Emmeline exchanged a look that said, _Marlene will react perfectly._

* * *

**Another short chapter, I'm sorry! Hope you liked it anyway. The next chapter is rewarding after this short chapter, I promise ;)**

**Leave a review?**


	12. Kiss

**Just letting you know, Dorcas and Marlene are in their fifth year (making them about fifteen/sixteen years old) in this chapter. I skipped their whole fourth year in this story; I just couldn't think of anything significant to write about.**

* * *

Dorcas knew that Marlene had sneaked over to the Ravenclaw tower to be with her boyfriend, Parsons something-or-other, and that "be with" actually meant "have sex with," but that was most certainly (probably) not why Dorcas couldn't sleep. Dorcas couldn't sleep because her stomach hurt, and her stomach _did not _hurt because Marlene was off shagging her arsehole boyfriend, her stomach hurt because … well, she would think of a reason eventually.

But she would wait up for Marlene, even if she thought that fifth year was too young for a boyfriend as serious as Parsons apparently was, and she would let Marlene brag and laugh, and she would congratulate Marlene and be Marlene's best friend who was _not _in love with her. That's what Dorcas would do.

Dorcas put her Heinlein novel down when Marlene burst into the common room, slamming the door behind her. Dorcas looked at her watch. Just after midnight; Marlene hadn't left that long ago. Upon closer inspection, Dorcas realized that Marlene was crying quietly. Dorcas leapt up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Marlene, who laughed quietly.

"Marley, what happened?" asked Dorcas. "What's wrong?"

Marlene stepped back and shook her head. Her eyes shone with tears, but only two tracked down her cheeks. She laughed again and wiped her eyes.

"John Parsons… is a fucking bastard," she chuckled and wiped her eyes again, this time with the hem of her shirt.

"What happened?" Dorcas led Marlene to one of the common room's many couches and sat beside her.

"Ugh, I…" she held up her palms and shook her head. "I went to go see him tonight, as you know. When I get to the Ravenclaw tower entrance, I found him there, and we kissed for a while, then he suddenly pulls away and says 'McKinnon, listen, I don't think we should date anymore'," she lowered her voice comically and made an ugly face when impersonating Parsons, "'but it would be really lovely if you could see if Vance would like to go out with me.' What the fuck? How could he think that was alright?" She huffed, crossed her arms, and slumped against the back of the couch. "He's such an arse."

"Glad you finally see it my way," Dorcas smiled slightly.

Marlene looked over at Dorcas with a crooked smile. "You didn't like him?"

"I loathed him."

Marlene laughed quietly. "He, er… yeah, he's not one of my best choices… but he was _really _great at kissing."

Dorcas made a face and stuck her tongue out at Marlene.

"If you didn't like him all that much, why were you crying?" Dorcas asked after a moment of silence.

Marlene waved a hand dismissively, then sighed. "I was embarrassed, mostly. I, er… I really was going to shag him tonight… and he just wanted to get to Emme. I'm not letting him at her though. He's too much of an arse, and she's too nice."

Dorcas nodded her acknowledgment.

Marlene pushed herself up from the couch. "I'm going to bed. Looks like I'll be getting more sleep tonight than I had originally planned." She pursed her lips and briefly raised an eyebrow at Dorcas. "Good night, Cas." Marlene leaned down to kiss Dorcas's cheek, placing her hand on the back of the couch for support, but lost her balance and kissed the corner of Dorcas's mouth instead.

Dorcas was too shocked to react; Marlene stood back up.

"Missed my target a bit," she laughed quietly. "I'll see you in the morning." Marlene walked away from Dorcas. She called out, "Love you, Cas!" over her shoulder as she started up the stairs to the girls' dorms.

Dorcas touched the place on her lips where Marlene had kissed her. She took in a shaky breath. "I love you too, Marley," she whispered. Dorcas leaned forward and put her head between her knees. "Oh, I am _so_ fucked."

* * *

**Squee? Dorcas cursed. You know it's serious when Dorcas uses curse words.**

**Don't hate me for leaving it there. I updated early after the really short last chapter, so that should make it up, shouldn't it? Maybe. Leave a review please :)**


	13. Advice

**Bit of making out takes place in the first paragraph, so skip that if that's not your thing.**

* * *

Dorcas completely had _not_ meant to end up pushed against a bookshelf in the back of the library (honestly, she was _always _in the back of the bloody library), especially with the very beautiful, Ravenclaw, seventh year Jas Patil as the one doing the pushing. After the pushing was over, they only touched and kissed and _wow _Jas was good at what she did. Never mind that Dorcas hadn't even known that Jas was into girls, that was quickly forgotten when she had one hand shoved through Dorcas's hair and the other under Dorcas's blouse, her thumb just barely running under Dorcas's bra. Jas's lips were on Dorcas's lips, then her jaw, then her neck, and both of her hands bunched Dorcas's shirt up just below her breasts. Dorcas let out a rather embarrassing sound that was half moan, half sigh.

"Bloody hell!" a near voice exclaimed, surprised. Dorcas jumped and immediately began to smooth her hair, her shirt, and her jeans. She was blushing furiously. Jas moved away calmly, ran a hand through her dark pixie cut, ruffling it slightly, and looked over at the intruder.

Which, mortifyingly, turned out to be Sirius Black and Marlene. Black looked amused; Marlene looked surprised and– was that disappointment Dorcas saw? Dorcas instead tried to calm her pounding heart and looked at Black.

"Patil," Marlene greeted her coldly.

"McKinnon," Jas returned in a much warmer manner.

"We'll, er, being going then," said Black, sensing the tension and pulling Marlene away. As they walked away, Black turned and gave Dorcas two thumbs up and a huge, genuine grin. Dorcas waved him off.

"They're friends of yours?" asked Jas. She began to move back to their previous seats, where their study materials still sat, scattered.

"Yeah," Dorcas sighed. She couldn't get the look in Marlene's eyes out of her head. It was like … disappointment or betrayal or heartbreak. Which didn't make sense at all.

Jas kissed Dorcas again, gently and slowly. When she moved back, she smiled slightly. "I think you're feeling a lot more than just embarrassed that Black and McKinnon walked in on us."

Dorcas sighed again and nodded.

"Which one is it?" asked Jas.

"What?"

"Which one do you fancy?"

"Marlene," Dorcas looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Does she know?"

"Oh, goodness, no," Dorcas shook her head. "She– she doesn't like girls, not the way that I do."

"Are you sure?" Jas raised an eyebrow at Dorcas and cross her legs. She placed her hands over her knees. Dorcas thought she looked quiet professional that way. "The way that McKinnon looked at you just a moment ago… that looked an awful lot like devastation."

Dorcas was stunned. That couldn't be it … could it? Could she actually have a chance with Marlene?

"Tell her," Jas smiled warmly. "That's my advice to you, little one."

"But what if –"

"No buts. No what ifs. Don't think, just act. Just tell her. I'd bet a hundred galleons that she feels the same way. And if it doesn't work out, then at least you tried. There's a war coming, little one." Dorcas was about to protest that the current high tensions would probably not escalate into an all out _war_, but Jas held a hand up to silence her. "No, Dorcas, just listen. Do you want to give up before you've even tried? Try, and if you fail then at least you tried. Okay?"

Dorcas nodded.

"Now," Jas sat forward in her chair and pulled a piece of parchment out, "back to studying. You need to pass your O.W.L.s, and I won't let you get less than an Exceeds Expectations."

* * *

They finished up just before dinner and walked to the Great Hall together. Just as they entered, Jas pulled Dorcas into a tight hug, then kissed her forehead (which she had to bend slightly to do, due to Dorcas being just barely 5'4" and Jas being nearly 6'). Dorcas could feel many eyes on her and began to blush. Jas smiled at her and briefly played with a strand of Dorcas's hair.

"Remember what I said, little one," Jas reminded Dorcas. "Just tell her. And if she _does _react badly, which I don't think she will, you can find me and hex me into the next century, alright?"

Dorcas laughed and nodded.

"Alright, go eat," she nodded her head towards the Gryffindor table, "and study. I'll see you later."

They parted ways, Dorcas hurrying towards Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline, and Jas meandering towards her friends.

Marlene didn't look at or greet Dorcas when she sat down. Lily muttered a greeting, then continued glaring at her transfiguration book, as if glaring would magically make her understand the class, and Emmeline raised her eyebrows at Dorcas.

"What was that?" Emmeline asked with a sly little smile.

"What?" asked Dorcas.

"You and Patil."

"She helped me study for some of my O.W.L.s. today."

"No, the hugging and the forehead kissing and the playing with your hair," Emmeline leaned forward slightly, like secrets were being exchanged.

Dorcas shrugged.

"Black told her that he saw you and Patil snogging," Lily informed Dorcas. She said it in a monotone and didn't let her eyes leave her textbook. Lately (meaning since she'd cut off all contact with one Severus Snape), she'd been burying herself in her schoolwork.

Dorcas near choked on her pumpkin juice.

Amelia chose that moment to sit beside her. "What's this I hear about snogging?"

"I'm going to murder him in his sleep," Dorcas said, a fierce blush taking over her face.

"So…" Emmeline prompted.

"It was nothing," Dorcas replied. "It was a one time thing."

"Really, because Black said –"

"Since when do you listen to the shit Black says?" Dorcas interrupted.

Emmeline was taken aback. Everyone was. Four pairs of wide eyes looked at her, including Marlene and Lily.

"Goodness, I'm sorry," Dorcas put her head in her hands. "I'm just… very stressed. I'm so sorry, Emme, that was so awful of me."

"It's fine," Emmeline waved it off. She forgave quickly. "But, to answer your question, since Black and Remus are bloody inseparable. I swear to god, you barely see them apart anymore. Oh, he told Remus too, by the way."

"What happened?" Amelia asked. "What have I missed?"

"Snogging," said Lily, monotone again. "Dorcas and Patil. Ravenclaw chaser, the really tall one, seventh year."

"Good on you, Cas," Amelia grinned.

Dorcas smiled awkwardly.

Marlene met Dorcas's eyes, finally. "Good job, Cas." She smiled, and it appeared genuine to the untrained eye, but Dorcas knew better.

Dorcas sighed, but a little part of her felt victorious. Marlene felt something in return, Dorcas was sure of it.

* * *

**Marlene! Finally, right? Well, almost finally.**

**Please leave a review?**


	14. Finally

Ever since she had realized her feelings for her best friend, Dorcas had been anxious about spending any time with Marlene alone. She was worried she'd slip up, admit her feelings, or that Marlene would read Dorcas like a children's book and guess Dorcas's feelings for her.

But this time was different. This time, Dorcas's had a plan, and her plan was to admit her feelings to Marlene. She couldn't take it anymore. Keeping her feelings a secret from Marlene was driving her insane. And Dorcas was quite sure that Marlene felt the same way, and that, even if she didn't reciprocate, she wouldn't completely cut Dorcas out of her life.

So in the beginning of their summer holidays, Dorcas wrote a letter to Marlene, asking if she was free at any point. Marlene replied that she had no plans for her summer, and that she thought it would be fun if Derek, her older brother closest to her in age, could apparate them to the beach for a day. They planned for a day in July, and Dorcas spent the whole morning before Derek picked her up calming herself down, with tea and her favourite song ("Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac) played repeatedly, and perfecting her outfit and the unruly waviness of her hair.

"You'll be fine," Emmeline assured Dorcas from her place on Dorcas's bed. She had laid there for nearly an hour, watching Dorcas pace, mutter to herself, and smooth her skirt.

"You don't know that," Dorcas replied darkly.

"Yes, I do," Emmeline sighed. "And you know why? Because Marls fancies you as well. And before you tell me that I don't know that, yes I do. I do know that, because you two are two of my best friends, and I know you better than you know yourselves." Emmeline jumped up and moved to stand behind Dorcas in front of the mirror. She put her hands on Dorcas's shoulders and peered at Dorcas's reflection.

"You look beautiful, by the way," Emmeline added. She smoothed the shoulders of Dorcas's soft, knit sweater down.

Dorcas relaxed slightly. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Dorcas!" Caroline Vance's loud voice carried up the stairs and into the second floor of the house. "The McKinnon boy is here to pick you up!"

Dorcas turned back to Emmeline. "Wish me luck, Emme. We're at the point of no return."

"Oh, good luck, Cassie." Emmeline kissed Dorcas's cheeks.

Dorcas smiled nervously, then left Emmeline and jogged down the stairs, her boots echoing throughout the house.

"Hi," Dorcas smiled politely at Derek. He smiled in return.

"Home by breakfast tomorrow morning," said Caroline, pointing a finger at Dorcas.

Dorcas laughed, but her heart was in her throat. "Yes, ma'am." She took hold of Derek's arm, and they disapparated, then reappeared in the backyard of the McKinnons's house, where Marlene sat on the grass. She was leaned back on her elbows, eyes closed, soaking the sun into her pale skin, but she stood when she heard the _crack_ of apparition. Marlene smiled when she saw Dorcas and hugged her briefly, then threw an arm around Dorcas's shoulders.

"Ready for a beach day?" Marlene grinned. Dorcas nodded.

"Right, here we go again," said Derek, before apparating to the beach. Or rather, to a spot near the beach, but not actually on it.

"I'll pick you up here at six o'clock tonight," Derek told Marlene. She nodded once, thanked him, and he disapparated.

Marlene put her arm around Dorcas's shoulders again. "Come on," she said, "let's get our shoes off. The sand awaits."

Dorcas took a deep breath and began to unlace her boots. "Where are we anyway?" she asked.

"Fishguard, in Wales," Marlene informed her. "Now, come _on, _beach beach beach!" She bounced on her bare toes as she waited for Dorcas.

* * *

For hours upon hours, the two girls walked back and forth along the secluded beach, kicking sand and water around. It was nestled between two rocky hills, and the only way out was up a long and narrow flight of stairs. Safe to say there would be no one else with them that day.

"Marley, I –" Dorcas began, before she was interrupted.

"I know," Marlene nodded. "You're worried about sixth year, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah," Dorcas pounding pulse began to slow with the topic change.

"We passed our O.W.L.s. That's the hard part."

"Now we have to decide our N.E.W.T. courses, which means deciding our careers. I have no clue what I want to do or be."

"I know exactly what I'm going to do," Marlene raised her head with pride and smiled. "I'm going to be an auror, like my dad, and like my brothers. Well, not all my brothers. John and Michael and Richard, which you already know, of course."

"Really?" Dorcas turned her head to look at Marlene. "That's quite dangerous."

"War's coming," Marlene replied. "We're going to need all the aurors we can get. You could… come with me. Work with me, I mean. You could be my partner."

"I don't know," Dorcas sighed. "I'll think about it."

Marlene beamed and hugged Dorcas tightly. "We'd be amazing aurors. Unstoppable." Marlene moved back slightly, but kept her hands on Dorcas's shoulders. "With you by my side, I could do anything, Cas."

Dorcas felt a blush rising up from her chest at Marlene's intense look. The blush spread to her neck and face when Marlene's hands slowly moved, one to Dorcas's cheek, the other to Dorcas's neck.

"Cas," Marlene said fondly. "My Cas."

Then Dorcas was intensely aware of Marlene's lips on hers, Marlene's hands on her skin, Marlene's blonde hair blowing in the light wind.

Marlene broke the kiss, and Dorcas gasped quietly.

"Huh," Marlene exhaled. She let her hands drop to her sides.

Dorcas stood still, staring at Marlene with her mouth slightly open.

"Cas, please tell me that I didn't… misread your feelings," Marlene requested nervously.

Dorcas answered by launching herself up on her toes, grasping Marlene's face, and pulling her down for another kiss.

* * *

Minutes before Derek was set to pick up Marlene and Dorcas, the two girls stood in the wet sand and let the ocean water rush over their bare feet. Marlene took Dorcas's right hand in her own left hand, and used her right hand to run her short fingernails along the length of Dorcas's right arm.

"This changes everything," Marlene said. Dorcas nodded.

"'Are we willing to risk it?' is the better question," Dorcas replied. "Risk our friendship." Dorcas turned to look at Marlene. "Marley, I can't… I can't live without you. Not functionally anyway. I don't want to lose you."

Marlene turned to Dorcas and took Dorcas's face in her hands. "You won't lose me, Cas. I promise." Marlene smiled. "But I have a feeling," she kissed Dorcas briefly, "that we will be," another kiss, "just fine." She gave Dorcas a longer, slower kiss. They stepped apart when they heard Derek apparate in.

* * *

**I'm kinda screaming! They're finally together, wooo! I've been waiting ages for this.**

**And now that this has happened, I can tell you about the tumblr I've set up for Dorcas, the link to which is on my profile. It's set up like Dorcas is actually running it, posting, reblogging, etc. when it's actually me (obvs). With chapter uploads might come personal blog posts, especially later in this fic, which may give a little more insight into Dorcas's mind. Just pretend it's in a universe where tumblr and the internet existed in the 1970s, alright? There's already one post which I made for this chapter, though I posted it ages ago, before I'd even started uploading. Anyway, check it out please.**

**Also leave a review :)**


	15. Bets

**Sorry this is so late! School is kicking my ass. This chapter is short but cute, so hopefully it makes up for my lateness.**

* * *

Marlene and Dorcas met up irregularly but frequently until school started again. Emmeline was, of course, told about their relationship because Dorcas lived with her, but Amelia and Lily didn't have clue. Dorcas just wasn't sure how to tell them in a letter, and neither was Marlene.

It was for that reason that Amelia and Lily made squeaking noises when Marlene walked into their compartment on the train, pulled Dorcas up, and kissed her deeply.

"Did she just –"

"Did they just –"

Marlene stepped back from Dorcas and slung an arm over Dorcas's shoulders. She pressed a kiss to Dorcas's temple, then grinned at the gaping Amelia and Lily.

"When?" asked Lily.

"Just this summer," Dorcas replied.

"Damn!" Amelia smacked her open hand on her leg, then winced and rubbed where she had hit.

"What?" Marlene and Dorcas asked simultaneously.

"Black won the bloody bet," Amelia informed her friends.

"You made a bet with Sirius fucking Black?" Marlene asked incredulously.

"I was _sure _that you two would get together _this school year._" Amelia sagged in her seat. "He bet summer, I bet school year, Remus bet Winter Break." She sighed. "Remus and I owe him two galleons each."

"You bet on my relationship with Marlene?" Dorcas put her hands on her hips.

Amelia had the decency to look slightly sheepish. "In my defense –"

Dorcas laughed. "You don't need a defense, I'm not angry."

"I'm going to tell Black that I think I need a portion of his winnings," Marlene said as she sat down, pulling Dorcas down with her. "After all, we _could _have waited," she tilted her head to Dorcas. "He could owe you," she pointed to Amelia, "two galleons. Or Remus."

"Good point," said Dorcas. "Get half from him; we can split it."

"We're geniuses," Marlene smiled and kissed Dorcas.

Lily made a vague vomiting sound. "You two are so cute, it's disgusting. I can't deal with you."

"Oh, _you_ can't deal?" Emmeline raised her eyebrows. "A few minutes in, and you can't deal? I live with this one," she poked Dorcas's side playfully, "and she had Marlene over a _lot. _I've had to deal with them for _months._ I was in _hell _with their mushy love surrounding me." She shuddered.

Everyone laughed loudly.

* * *

**Cuties, huh? Leave a review because they make me happy and don't forget to check out Dorcas's "tumblr" for any posts or reblogs!**


	16. Sirius

Dorcas generally tried to avoid Sirius Black. He was trouble, and he brought trouble with him wherever he went. Never mind that he and Potter gave her a severe nosebleed in their first year, she generally just did not like how much he went looking for trouble. He had detention almost every day, he mouthed off in class, played pranks, and made the common room almost unbearably loud.

But she couldn't avoid him forever. On a cold Saturday in November, Black followed Dorcas from the Great Hall after lunch and chased her down, calling her name.

"Meadowes! How fast do you fucking walk? Meadowes, hang on!" Black caught up to her and gave her a crooked smile. "Hi, how are you doing?" He ran a hand through his mass of shaggy, dark curls, not too much unlike Dorcas's own hair, except that Dorcas attempted to tame hers.

"Just fine, and you?" Dorcas replied politely.

"Oh, I'm grand, darling," his crooked smile grew to a full grin. "Listen, I just wanted to say– you and McKinnon, I'm really happy for you. Every student in Gryffindor house saw how you two looked at each other when you thought the other wasn't looking, and now you're together!" Black threw his hands up triumphantly. "Just, er," he let his hands drop, smiled a little sheepishly, and scratched the back of his head, "we're all happy for you. Well, except the little, narrow-minded pricks who see fit to judge others based on who they love," he shrugged, "but me and the Marauders will take care of any of them who bother you."

Dorcas was speechless for a moment. Her mouth hung open slightly, before she remembered to shut it. She smiled at Black.

"Thanks, Black. That's … that's very sweet."

Dorcas almost gasped when Black suddenly threw his arms around her and squeezed. A simple hug, she realized a moment later. In return, she hugged him back as tightly as he hugged her.

Black stepped back and shoved his hands in the back pockets of his ratty jeans. "Meadowes, you can call me Sirius, if you want."

"Sirius," Dorcas tried the name out and smiled at him. "Then I'm Dorcas. Or Cassie or Cas. Whatever."

Sirius held out a hand to her. "Hello, Cassie, nice to meet you."

Dorcas shook his hand and laughed. "You're not all bad, Sirius. Just an annoying little shit most of the time."

"Proudly," Sirius replied.

Dorcas laughed again.

* * *

That night in the Gryffindor common room, Dorcas collapsed onto one of the couches next to Marlene. Marlene lazily tossed an arm around Dorcas's shoulders.

"Something very strange happened with Sirius Black today," Dorcas mentioned.

"I will punch him in the –" Marlene began.

Dorcas interrupted. "No, no, it was nice. He congratulated me on our relationship," she told Marlene. "Said he and Potter and Pettigrew and Remus would 'take care' of any close-minded people who bother us."

Marlene made a vague, slightly confused _hm_ noise. "Weird."

"But nice. And he requested that I call him by his first name, so I told him that he could do the same with me."

"Maybe getting out of his family home and away from his family did him some good," said Marlene.

Dorcas turned to her, confused. "Wait, what?"

"Didn't you hear?" Marlene asked. "He ran away from home and went to Potter's house. He's living with Potter and Potter's parents now."

Dorcas nodded her acknowledgment, as Lily walked over and laid on top of Marlene and Dorcas on the couch. The two being sat on groaned.

"C'mon, I'm not that heavy!" Lily protested.

"'Course not," Dorcas replied.

"All your weight's in your hair," Emmeline said as she sat down in front of the couch. She briefly played with a strand of Lily's very long red hair.

"Oh, piss off," Lily replied. Marlene cackled loudly.

* * *

**The gang is coming together! Dorcas and Sirius's relationship is one of my favourite bits of this story, so I'm glad I'm finally here.**

**Pls remember to check out Dorcas's tumblr (link on my profile) and leave a review :)**


	17. Telling

After February's Hogsmeade trip, Dorcas and Emmeline walked into their dorm room to find Marlene sitting on her bed, lightly hitting her head with one of her textbooks.

"You've been studying for hours, Marls," Emmeline forcefully pushed Marlene's textbook down and into the blankets on Marlene's bed. "Take a break."

"I'm not studying anymore," Marlene informed her. "I'm telling my parents about Cas." She puckered her lips in concentration and glared at the piece of parchment in front of her.

"About Cas? What don't they know about her? She's been your best friend for, what, five years?"

"About dating Cas," Marlene clarified.

Emmeline made an 'O' with her mouth. After a moment, she said, "Well, they'll be okay with it, won't they?"

Marlene nodded. "Yeah. Mum's got a brother who's lived with a guy for twenty years, and nobody has said anything but everyone knows…" She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head forward; Dorcas and Emmeline understood her meaning.

"So, what are you worried about?" Dorcas sat on the bed beside Marlene and began to run her hands through Marlene's hair, trying to relax her.

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know, I just –" She sighed.

"Alright, write this down," Dorcas instructed. Marlene readied a quill, and, slow enough for Marlene to write, Dorcas began to recite a letter.

A few minutes later, Marlene held up the parchment and lightly blew it dry. "This'll do nicely," she smiled at Dorcas. "Thanks, Cas."

"Tell me how it turns out?" Dorcas requested with a small smile.

"'Course, Cas."

"And, erm," Emmeline spoke up hesitantly, "if… if everything goes pear-shaped… you have a place to stay. With me, I mean. And Cassie."

Marlene smiled nervously, then stood and began to walk out. "I'm going to send this off now."

"Good luck," Dorcas called after her.

* * *

A few days later, Marlene opened a letter from her parents at breakfast. As she ripped the envelope open, she repeated the same profanity under her breath. She was quiet as she read the letter, then a large smile broke out on her face. She barked out a quiet laugh.

Everyone looked on expectantly.

"They're fine with it," Marlene reported. "They're _ecstatic, _actually." She looked up at Dorcas, "And they send their love."

Dorcas grinned. "See? Nothing to be scared about. Of course, I can't really talk. I didn't have parents to tell." She looked down at her plate briefly. Lily rubbed Dorcas's back comfortingly, but Dorcas laughed it off. "Well, I told Caroline, Emme's mum, but she's a little… eccentric."

"Mum's about as welcoming as they come," Emmeline explained. "Weird, since she's from the American South, but she wanted to throw a 'coming out' party for Dorcas when Cas told her about Marlene."

"Needless to say," Dorcas interjected, "we shut that down quickly."

Their laughter echoed throughout the Great Hall.

* * *

**Another filler chapter. Although isn't most of this story filler? I just meant that it's an uneventful little thing.**

**Pls leave a review? :)**


	18. James

Tensions in the Wizarding World escalated quickly, and, by the summer of 1977, war was officially declared. Chaos reigned. Dorcas could no longer ignore the Death Eaters, as their presence was everywhere, and where they were not, everyone was talking about them in hushed, worried voices. Underage wizards and witches were barely allowed to leave the house, so Dorcas's contact with Marlene was very limited.

They ended up being able to see each other twice over the summer, both times at Marlene's house, supervised by her brothers Michael and Richard, both aurors. Therefore, they were painfully excited to return to Hogwarts for their seventh year.

"Bloody hell," Marlene sighed as she fell backwards onto one of the seats, "I thought I'd never get away from Rich. He was _this _close to getting on the train and following me to school."

"Honestly, I would not have complained," Dorcas replied. "We're all in danger. Especially you and Amelia, Marley." Amelia nodded in agreement.

"What, why?" asked Emmeline, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Marlene has three aurors for brothers, John, Michael, and Rich, and her dad's one," Dorcas explained. "Amelia, too. Everyone in her family is an auror, her parents, her brothers, their wives. They're prime targets."

"That makes me feel very secure, Cassie," Amelia replied.

Dorcas blushed. "Ah, sorry, I didn't –"

"It's fine," Amelia smiled and put a hand on Dorcas's shoulder. "It's fine. I'm well aware of my status."

"Oh, come on," Marlene whined loudly. She threw an arm around Dorcas shoulders and quickly kissed Dorcas's cheek. "We are all too pretty to die. Far too pretty. No one as gorgeous as we all are dies young."

"I completely agree, McKinnon," James Potter said from the doorway of the compartment.

"James Dean," Amelia reminded everyone.

"Marilyn Monroe," added Lily.

"Jayne Mansfield," Emmeline piped in.

"Alright, I get it," Marlene threw up her hands in surrender. "Some famous pretty people died young, fucking hell. You know, you're not doing yourselves any favors."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Potter waved a hand dismissively. "I'm only here for Evans." He turned to Lily and held out an arm. "The prefects compartment awaits, milady." He smiled at her, but Lily rolled her eyes and batted his arm away.

"See you later, girls," Lily smiled at her friends and shut the compartment door on her way out.

Marlene sighed. "I'm surprised he's so put-together."

"What do you mean?" Amelia asked.

"His parents died over the summer," Marlene told them mournfully. "Both of them, on the same day. It was early July."

"Oh my god," Dorcas sighed. She rubbed her eyes with her heels of her hands, feeling faint tears coming on.

"That's terrible," Emmeline replied. "How– What happened?"

"They were just old," Marlene shrugged. "My dad worked with Mr. Potter, so he and I went to their funeral. Potter, James, he seemed alright. I think he was expecting it."

"Like me and Da," Dorcas paralleled.

Everyone looked at her with sympathy, but she waved them off. "I'm fine now, honestly. It's Potter we should be worried about."

* * *

And worry Dorcas did. She'd taken her da's death hard at first, and she didn't want Potter to go through that, not that he seemed to be. Whether he needed her or not, Dorcas decided to offer her help to Potter, so she tracked him down on a Saturday and found him in the library. Dorcas sat down in the chair across from his and waited for him to notice her, so that she didn't disturb his studying. He looked up after about five minutes and smiled crookedly at her.

"Hi Meadowes." Potter closed his book and sat back in the chair. "What can I do for you?"

"There's a club," Dorcas replied, using the same words Frank Longbottom had extended to her in her third year. "A, er, a dead parent club." Potter let out a breath and looked at his folded hands in his lap. "We don't have meetings or anything, we're just there for each other if… if someone ever needs to talk. I'm extending the offer of the club to you."

Potter pressed his lips together, but his eyes smiled at Dorcas. "Thanks Meadowes." He coughed twice. "So, who's in this club?"

"I am. Prescott, Adrian, the Jones girls, Patil, Edwards, and that's just the Gryffindors in our year. I can list the rest of the Gryffindors, as well as the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins too if you like."

Potter smiled at Dorcas again. "That's alright, Meadowes. Thank you. I'll, er… be sure to take up your offer, if I ever need it."

"It's really my pleasure, Potter. And you can call me Dorcas."

Potter pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm James."

Dorcas smiled.

"By the way, I am really sorry about that incident in second year. The prank that made your nose bleed?" James winced slightly. "I realize I apologized then, but I was sincere about it. Now I'm being sincere."

Dorcas smile grew. "It's completely forgotten. And thank you."

* * *

**And the gang continues to form! I'm so happy about this**

**Please leave a review :)**


	19. Invite

"Cassie!"

Dorcas heard the voice yelling her name before she saw the person doing the yelling. She turned in circles, her brown waves whipping around her head, but saw no one around her and no footprints in the snow other than hers. She huffed and saw her breath in the air in front of her, then heard the _whoosh_ of a broom flying above her. When Dorcas looked up, she saw Sirius flying in circles above her.

"Hello!" she called up to him. Sirius promptly landed just inches from her. Dorcas laughed and patted one of his reddened cheeks with one of her gloved hands.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Dorcas's shoulders, and they began to walk inside.

"Cassie, my reasoning for chasing you down on James's broom is a simple one," Sirius announced grandly. "I would like to invite you to my new place for Christmas."

"You have your own place?" Dorcas turned her head to look at Sirius. He smiled at her and nodded.

"My uncle Alphard died and left me loads of money, so I'm renting a house, and I bought a motorcycle, and I might get some tattoos, and I definitely have enough money to pay off my tab at The Three Broomsticks _and _The Hog's Head, plus buy _all _of our liquor from now on. You will never want for firewhiskey again, my darling Cassie!" He laughed joyfully.

Dorcas smiled and shook her head. "That's great. Wait, how did you know I like firewhiskey?"

"McKinnon told me, but she didn't tell me what type you like."

"I prefer Blishen's, but that's quite expensive, so I usually drink Ogden's Old."

"Ah, Cassie," Sirius squeezed Dorcas's shoulders in a half-hug, "you are a woman after my own heart. Now, at this point, I would propose that we race to the common room, but I have to put Prongs's broom back up or he might kill me."

"Alright, have fun in the cold," said Dorcas. "You know, it's during the winter that I envy Amelia. The Hufflepuff common room is supposed to have loads of fireplaces and sunlight all year round. Goodness, I wish we could go in there."

"Don't we all?" Sirius threw his hands up and walked backwards to face Dorcas. "They're supposed to have a stash of food too, and I'm always hungry. Gotta run, Cassie, see you later!" He took off running to return James's broom.

"I'm coming for Christmas by the way!" Dorcas called after him when she realized that she hadn't answered his question.

"Brilliant! Splendid! Fucking fantastic!" Sirius screamed happily as he rounded a corner.

Dorcas laughed at his antics, shoved her hands down into her coat pockets, and hurried towards the Gryffindor common room. Hopefully, the fires would be blazing.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait, yet again! Junior year is killing me. *flings self onto sword dramatically***

**I realized, upon rereading my own work (as ya do), that we're over halfway through with this story! I'm a little sad at that, cause I don't want this to end.**

**Anyway, leave a review, please and thanks?**


	20. Christmas, pt II

**SORRY FOR THE WAIT OH GOD. This chapter is really long though so I hope it makes up for my complete lack of updating.**

* * *

Dorcas sighed when she stepped inside of Sirius's house. She immediately felt the heat working into her skin and pushing the cold out.

"Christ, that's nice," James echoed Dorcas's sentiments as he walked past her with his trunk, which he promptly left by the stairs in order to fall back onto the couch in the lounge.

Everyone else rushed into the house, into the warmth, and convened in the lounge with mugs of hot tea. There was only one couch and one chair, so Amelia, Lily, and Emmeline took the couch, Dorcas sat on Marlene's lap in the armchair, and James, Sirius, and Remus sat on a blanket on the supposedly very itchy rug.

"So Peter's not coming?" Lily asked.

Sirius shook his head while drinking, and a little tea fell onto his shirt. He brushed the spot briefly, before answering, "No, he said his mum wouldn't let him. Something about a Christmas tradition with his family that she wouldn't let him miss."

"Too bad."

A few moments of silence later, Emmeline asked, "What's the bedroom situation?"

Sirius looked at her strangely.

"I took a look 'round," Emmeline explained, "and there are two double beds, two twin beds, and this couch. There are eight of us."

"Ah," Sirius nodded. "Okay, right, _that._ I knew I'd forgotten to tell you all something."

Amelia tossed a small pillow at Sirius, but missed him by a few feet. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Me and Cas can take one of the twin beds," Marlene offered.

Amelia and Emmeline exchanged a look, then said they'd take one of the double beds.

"Okay, Remus and I'll take the other double," Sirius concluded, "Lily can have the other twin, and James can take the couch. Agreed?"

Everyone nodded.

"James, I'll switch out with you every other night," said Lily. He thanked her with a smile. She blushed slightly and returned a smile of her own.

Dorcas tapped Marlene's shoulder to get her attention and nodded towards James and Lily. Marlene smirked.

"A galleon, before the break's over," Marlene whispered into Dorcas's ear.

Dorcas replied with her own bet, "Before Boxing Day,"

Marlene smiled and nodded. They sealed the bet with a kiss instead of a handshake, and were promptly hit with three pillows thrown from different directions around the room.

* * *

Christmas Eve came quickly, and with Christmas Eve came decorating the small tree that Sirius had bought, baking gingerbread men to decorate, and Amelia and Emmeline chasing Sirius around the house, smacking him with dishrags because he kept hanging mistletoe in every available doorway. Not that Dorcas and Marlene were complaining.

Remus, Emmeline, and Dorcas decorated the tree, Lily and Amelia baked, and Marlene, James, and Sirius went between the two groups, drinking their way through a case of butterbeer.

"If you're not going to help," Dorcas removed Marlene's feet from their place on the coffee table and threw a bit of tinsel into her hair, "I suggest you _at least_ go unpack my trunk."

"I second that sentiment," said Remus, looking pointedly at Sirius.

Marlene and Sirius sighed, stood, and exchanged exaggerated looks of suffering as they shuffled out of the room. James cackled and finished off his bottle of butterbeer.

Remus and Dorcas looked at each other and shook their heads, laughing quietly.

"Potter!" Lily called from the kitchen. "Could you take my trunk to my room please?"

Remus, Dorcas, and Emmeline all laughed at James's pout. Nevertheless, he stood and left the room, telling Lily that he'd do it as he passed the kitchen doorway.

"Thank you, James!" Lily replied sweetly.

"Whipped," Emmeline whispered to herself.

"And they're not even dating yet," Remus replied.

"Yet?" asked Dorcas, raising her eyebrows at Remus.

"Yes," he nodded. "_Yet._"

* * *

Dorcas and Marlene would have been perfectly happy to sleep until noon on Christmas morning, squished together, not uncomfortably, in their twin bed (which was actually only a twin bed _mattress_ shoved into the corner of a very small room). Sirius Black, however, had other plans.

At half past seven, Sirius tiptoed into their room, cleared his throat quietly, then began belting out the opening lyrics of John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (The War Is Over)".

Dorcas's eyes snapped open, and she sat up. Marlene groaned at the loss of Dorcas's waist under her own arm, then turned away from Sirius.

"Goodness, Sirius!" Dorcas put a hand over her heart. "You scared me half to death."

"But you're awake," Sirius grinned, "thus my mission is complete."

"It's Christmas, Black," said Marlene, her voice muffled as her face was half in her pillow. "Fuck off."

"I would if I could, darling," Sirius told her, "but I'm under strict orders to get you two out of bed, even if you did look adorable sleeping."

"Whose orders?" Marlene asked as she sat up and rubbed at her eyes.

"Amelia's."

"Of course," Dorcas muttered. "Alright, we'll be down in a bit."

"Why not _now_?" Sirius whined. "The sooner you come to the kitchen, the sooner we eat, and the sooner I can open the presents you all have gotten me."

"You're such a child," Marlene scoffed lovingly. "Now, get out."

"How do I know you two won't go back to sleep?"

"Because I'm awake now, aren't I?"

"Sirius, the sooner you leave, the sooner we come to the kitchen," said Dorcas. "We're not getting up until you leave because Marlene isn't wearing any trousers."

"Alright, I'm leaving," Sirius stuck up his hands in surrender and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

The girls quickly jumped up and rummaged through their set of drawers which they had haphazardly dumped their clothes into a few days earlier, yet still had not organized. They made themselves acceptable, then rushed out the door and to the kitchen, where Lily met them in the doorway with mugs of tea for each of them.

"Lily, you're my hero," Marlene said after taking a long drink.

Lily laughed and returned to the stove, where she seemed to be single-handedly cooking enough eggs and bacon to feed a small army.

"James!" she called. "I think the bread's done!"

James slid into the kitchen on his socks and peaked into the oven. He then used a dishrag to cover his hand and took a pan with three large bread loaves on it from the oven. He set the pan on another rag on the countertop beside the stove.

"Who made bread?" asked Dorcas.

"I did," James smiled at them. "Sirius forgot to buy some, but he somehow had everything I needed to make it, so…" He shrugged.

"You can make bread?"

James nodded. "Yeah, my…" he cleared his throat quietly, "my mum taught me. She worked in a bakery when she was our age. Wanted… experience in the muggle world, or something."

Dorcas walked over to him and patted his shoulder. He smiled at her and adjusted his glasses.

"I'm fine," he said quietly. Lily looked over, concerned, but Dorcas nodded her head slightly, signaling that he really was fine.

James cleared his throat. "So," he gestured wildly with his hands, "bread!"

Sirius bounded into the room, picked off a corner, and popped it into his mouth. His cheeks turned red, and his mouth opened slightly. "Hot," he mumbled, "hot, hot, hot."

"It just came out of the oven, you idiot!" James laughed.

"Hot," Sirius replied. He swallowed. "Hot."

James smacked the back of Sirius's head as he walked past the boy in question. Marlene left after him, laughing.

Dorcas wrapped an arm around Sirius's waist and gave him a sideways hug. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem, little Cassie," he ruffled her hair, "no problem at all."

Dorcas reached up and ruffled Sirius's hair in return. He made a noise and ducked away from her hand.

"If you two are going to play," Lily pointed a spatula at them menacingly, "go play somewhere that _isn't _the kitchen."

Dorcas and Sirius quickly left.

Ten minutes later, everyone sat around the lounge, plates piled high, and thanked Lily profusely for her wonderful food.

"Well, James did the bread, which made everything much better," she smiled at him.

Everyone sent thank yous James's way as well.

"Come _on, _people, eat!" Sirius ordered. "Eat, so we can open our presents."

"You truly are a nine-year-old at heart," Remus told him.

"Don't tell me you don't love it," Sirius smirked. Remus rolled his eyes.

* * *

Late that night, they sat around the lounge, crumbled bits of wrapping paper and ribbon scattered around the room, drinking the expensive firewhiskey that Sirius had gotten Dorcas for Christmas.

About a quarter of an hour before midnight, Sirius stood, bringing his glass of firewhiskey up with him, and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Now, friends, mates, losers, _whatever_ –" he began.

Marlene interrupted, "Uh oh, firewhiskey confessions, I don't know if I want to hear this." Dorcas laughed into Marlene's cheek.

"No, no no no, you wanna hear this, Marls darling, I promise." Sirius cleared his throat again. "I would like to invite all of you," he paused for effect and looked around at his friends' faces, "to live with me in this house after we leave Hogwarts."

"Sirius, you're drunk," Amelia replied. "You'll regret this in the morning, I'll bet."

"No, no, _really,"_ Sirius pleaded, "I bought this place so that we could all live here. I don't need this huge fucking house all to myself. And– and– and the shops are right around the corner, everything you could need, and there's a Ministry entrance about a mile east of here. Come on, mates," he shrugged and smiled, "live with me?"

James stood first and shook Sirius's hand. "Yeah, alright. Mum and Dad's house is too big anyway."

"I would if I could, Sirius," Remus told his friend, "but my…"

"Furry little problem?" Emmeline filled in, gently.

"Yeah," Remus rubbed the back of his neck and smiled at her. "There's no… safe place for it in a big city."

Sirius nodded, understanding.

Marlene and Dorcas looked at each other, then at Sirius.

"We're in, Sirius," Dorcas smiled. "We'll live with you."

Sirius perked up and threw himself on top of them to hug them. Dorcas squealed; Marlene groaned and shoved Sirius onto the floor. He sat up and grinned.

"This is gonna be so brilliant. And so much fun!" Sirius jumped up and did a little dance.

"Oh, what the hell," said Amelia. "I'll live here too."

Sirius whooped and kissed her forehead.

"Me too," Lily added. "I'll live with you."

"Lily darling, thank you," Sirius kissed her forehead as well. He then turned to Emmeline, the only person who hadn't given an answer.

"I wish I could, Sirius," Emmeline smiled sadly, "but I need to look after Mum. She's getting a little …" Emmeline trailed off, but everyone knew that Caroline Vance's mind was growing weaker by the day. Dorcas felt especially sad, as Caroline had taken her in after her dad died. She kicked herself for not thinking of the Vances before agreeing to live with Sirius and placed a hand on Emmeline's shoulder for support.

Emmeline smiled at Dorcas and mouthed, "It's alright," to her.

"Well, visit when you can, and we're here for anything you need," Sirius replied.

"And on that note," Lily stood up, "I'm off to bed."

"Yeah, me too," James followed her up. "Good night, guys."

As they walked through the doorway, Sirius called for them, then pointed upwards. Everyone laughed. Mistletoe hung in the doorway.

Before James could get a word out, Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

The room was silent, until the applause began.

Lily broke the kiss, then laid her head on James's shoulder. Too familiar for a first kiss, which was why Amelia then said, "You've done that before. You're dating, aren't you?"

Lily stepped back and smiled. "He asked me out about a month ago. We just didn't know how to tell you all."

Marlene laughed, then turned to Dorcas. "Do I still owe you a galleon then?"

Dorcas shook her head.

"You bet on us?" Lily asked.

"Like you're surprised?" Marlene asked, still laughing.

James shook his head and wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders. They turned around and left, presumably going to Lily's room.

"Alright, show of hands," said Amelia, "was anyone here _actually _surprised by that?"

No one raised a hand.

* * *

**Jily! (Mostly) Everyone's going to live together!**

**Let me know what you think :)**


	21. Engaged

**LIKE TEN DAYS BETWEEN UPDATING I AM THE** **_WORST._**

* * *

Dorcas, tired from hours of unpacking, dragged two rickety old lawn chairs out of the house and onto the grass of the backyard. She set them facing away from the house, then sat in one of them, pushed her sunglasses up her nose, straightened her legs out, and crossed her ankles.

"Cassie!" Lily called out of the window of the top floor of the house. "Have you seen my second box of clothes?"

"In the kitchen!" Dorcas replied, then closed her eyes and sighed.

It was a sunny, warm July day. The birds sang, a light breeze rustled Dorcas's long hair and the leaves in the trees. Dorcas slowly dragged her hands through the grass.

After a few minutes, she heard footsteps coming closer to her, then the lawn chair creaked as someone sat down in it.

"Enjoying the sun?" asked Marlene.

Dorcas made a small noise of contentment.

"If you're trying to tan, it won't work," Marlene continued. "You'll only burn."

"Says Snow White," Dorcas retorted with a smile. Marlene snorted, then reached across and took Dorcas's hand in her own. Dorcas squeezed lightly.

"We've moved in, officially," said Marlene. "All the boxes are unpacked, sheets are on the bed, food in the cabinets, et cetera, et cetera." Marlene settled into the lawn chair, mirroring Dorcas.

"How are Lily and James doing?" asked Dorcas. "And Amelia too?"

"Lily's having trouble fitting all the clothes she brought into her allotted space. James is worried about his broom just sitting in the closet. Amelia's room is covered in law books, muggle and magical. She starts that internship in September, and she's worried about washing out."

"Amelia Bones, wash out of an internship for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement? Pigs will fly sooner than that."

"That's what I said. Anyway, I got her to take a nap. Her books are her blankets."

Dorcas laughed quietly, then sighed again. "I'm happy, Marley."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Really happy. This is so fantastic, all of us living together. Remus and Emme and Peter will visit all the time, and your brothers too, and we'll be family. We _are _family. You all are my family."

"Cas," Marlene said fondly. She sat up, rose from the chair, and sat down in the grass next to Dorcas's chair. Dorcas opened her eyes and looked at Marlene.

Marlene smiled and pulled something out of her pocket, but kept it in her fist, hidden.

"Cas…" Marlene smiled, then tilted her head back and looked up at the blue sky. "Oh Cas. Cas, I love you so much." Marlene let out a laugh. "You know, I had this whole fucking speech and everything, with metaphors and puns and jokes, but… I forget everything the moment I look at you." She sighed.

Dorcas sat up, pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head, and looked at Marlene seriously. "Marley…"

Marlene grinned and held out her closed hand to Dorcas. "What I'm trying to ask is…" she opened her fist to reveal a ring, "marry me, Cas? Please?"

Dorcas gasped, then beamed. She pressed her lips together, too ecstatic to even speak, and nodded. Marlene put the ring on Dorcas and kissed her. Dorcas laughed against Marlene's mouth, then pulled away to smile and inspect her ring: a thin, gold band with a small ruby inset.

"Gryffindor colours," Dorcas noted. Marlene nodded with a smile.

"James!" they heard Lily screech from her third floor bedroom. "Marlene just proposed to Dorcas!"

"She did _what_?!" James replied from somewhere on the second floor. "How the fuck was I unaware of this?!"

Dorcas and Marlene leaned on each others' foreheads and laughed.

"Who proposed?!" Sirius chimed in as he walked into the backyard. "What's going on?! All I heard was the word _proposed._"

"We're getting married," Dorcas stood, pulling Marlene up with her, and smiled at Sirius.

"You're getting married?" Sirius asked, looking very much like a kid at Christmas. When Dorcas nodded, Sirius ran to her, picked her up, and spun her around a few times, before setting her back onto the ground and doing the same to Marlene.

"You're getting married!" Sirius yelled excitedly. "You're getting married!" He quickly kissed each of their foreheads, then spun in a circle. "We're planning a wedding! Prongs, Evans!" he called upwards. Lily and James stuck their heads out of third and second story windows, respectively. "Wake Bones up! And call Vance and Moony and Wormy. We're planning a fucking wedding right now."

Dorcas and Marlene laughed and followed Sirius inside.

* * *

**! Excited? I AM! I'm excited and I wrote this fricking thing.**

**What do you think? :)**


	22. Order

**Bet y'all thought this would be a wedding chapter, but it's not, cause I'm just mean like that. Enjoy anyway :)**

* * *

Dorcas stood, wide eyed and feeling very small, in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, the resistance against He Who Must Not Be Named and his Death Eaters. She was wearing one of Marlene's mother's knitted sweaters and had her arms wrapped around her waist. She, Marlene, Sirius, James, Lily, Emmeline, Remus, and Peter had just been given the tour and had the Order explained to them: the functions, the jobs, and the secrecy. Everyone was officially sworn in as members and threatened with horrible things should any of them betray the Order.

Amelia was the only one who would not be an official Order member. The Ministry kept her far too busy to go on missions or even attend meetings, but she promised to inform the Order of anything useful she learned.

Dorcas pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her fingertips and crossed her arms. She smiled at Peter, who seemed on edge, hoping to put him at ease. He was always so nervous. Peter sent a quick smile back and looked away from her. Unsurprising, as they had never been particularly close.

Dorcas watched as Fabian Prewett told James and Sirius all they would need to know for their first mission. Lily stood next to James, her hands on his shoulders, and Remus stood next to Sirius. Remus hovered a hand over Sirius's shoulder for a moment, but removing his hand and putting it in his jeans pocket. Marlene was in the kitchen, catching up with Caradoc Dearborn. Dorcas and Peter were the only two simply standing, not interacting with anyone, until Marlene called Dorcas into the kitchen.

Marlene handed Dorcas a cup of tea and gave her a quick kiss, before resuming her position leaning on the counter by the sink. Dorcas stood next to her.

"So you're getting married?" Dearborn asked with a smile.

"Sort of," Marlene replied as she put an arm over Dorcas's shoulders. Dorcas leaned into her slightly. "It's not official, obviously. We're just going to exchange rings and vows and whatever, with our close friends and family there to see."

"Any ideas on where and when?" Dearborn pushed his floppy curls out of his eyes, but a few strands fell back down.

"The beach," Dorcas interjected with a grin. "I love the ocean, and that's where we had our first kiss," she smiled fondly at Marlene for a moment, before returning her eyes to Dearborn. "We haven't decided _which _beach yet, but probably somewhere in Wales. Somewhere with flowers, too. I love flowers." She blushed at her excitement.

"As for when," Marlene continued, "sometime in 1979. A cool month, but not too cold. Maybe September."

"That's next year," said Dearborn. "You're not rushing like everyone else then?"

Marlene shrugged. "We're only eighteen. We're known each other since we were eleven, been a couple since we were sixteen, and now we're living together. We're basically married already, it's just a matter of dressing up and putting rings on and drinking champagne and butterbeer in shifts for a few hours."

Lily stuck her head in the kitchen. "Girls, we're leaving. Oh, hi, Caradoc." She smiled at him briefly before leaving.

Dearborn finished off his tea and smiled at Marlene and Dorcas. "Well, I wish you two the best of luck. Be safe."

"And you, Doc. It was good to see you," Marlene shook his hand. Dearborn patted Dorcas's shoulder as she passed him on her way out.

Marlene took Dorcas's hand as they left the Order's Headquarters and apparated away.

"Nervous?" Marlene asked when they entered their house.

"Excruciatingly," Dorcas replied. She bid everyone goodnight and walked right to her and Marlene's room. Marlene followed, and found Dorcas stripping off her clothes and getting into bed in her bra and underwear. Marlene changed into a large tee shirt and followed Dorcas.

"Nothing bad will happen," Marlene assured Dorcas. "We'll go on missions, we'll rid the world of You-Know-Who's followers and You-Know-Who himself. We'll be courageous, and we'll fight for the good of wizards and muggles alike."

"You sound so pretentious," Dorcas turned onto her side to face Marlene.

Marlene smiled. "Did it make you feel better?"

Dorcas nodded. "I'm just –"

"Worried that you or I or one of our friends will go on a mission and not return."

"Yeah," Dorcas whispered. Marlene kissed Dorcas's forehead, then her lips.

"I promise not to leave you alone. Ever."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Dorcas replied with a hitch in her throat.

Marlene kissed Dorcas again, reassuringly. "I'll keep that one. I will." She kissed Dorcas a third time, then motioned for Dorcas to turn over. Dorcas flipped to her other side, and Marlene wrapped an arm around Dorcas's waist. She moved Dorcas's hair aside and kissed her shoulder, then her neck. "Go to sleep, Cas. I love you, and I'll never leave you."

* * *

**The wedding chapter(s) are soon, I promise :)**

**But, until then, what did you think of this chapter?**


End file.
